Egged
by KatyCatGleek1694
Summary: Set during Funk, what happens after Vocal Adrenaline eggs Rachel?


It's been two whole days since the break-up of Rachel Berry and Jesse St. James. Rachel was still completely devastated by the situation. Tina had found her several times in the bathroom crying. It was really getting her down. Above all, it upset not only Finn and Puck, but also Kurt and Mercedes, of all people. Sure, Kurt sometimes absolutely hated Rachel, for not only her bossy attitude, but also the fact that she couldn't keep her big fat mouth shut, but that didn't mean Kurt wanted Jesse to dump Rachel and break her heart. He remembered how pissed he was at first at Rachel for dating Jesse, but slowly but surely he saw Rachel's attitude lightening up in Jesse's presence; he made her feel happy and loved and needed. Kurt remembered the devastated look on Rachel's face the minute Jesse decided to transfer and dump her on her ass; how he just wanted to give her a big hug and tell her Jesse didn't deserve her. Mercedes tried comforting her on the way to the choir room, but the minute they all saw the toilet paper that soiled it, Rachel had completely lost her mind and started crying, sitting alone while rolling up the toilet paper silently and trying to pretend she was okay. Rachel felt she needed to be strong for everybody.

* * *

That afternoon, Rachel walked down the hall by herself, still broken hearted. She wasn't as done-up as she usually was, meaning she was taking it pretty hard. Suddenly, she heard her cell phone chime, and without even looking at the caller ID, she answered.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Meet me out in the parking lot." _Jesse!_ He wanted her back! Rachel shoved her phone back into her pocket and ran out the back doors and into the parking lot, seeing Jesse standing there, waving and smiling. Rachel grinned, never feeling happier in her entire life. She wanted to cry tears of joy. Suddenly, when she was at least twelve feet away from Jesse, the other members of Vocal Adrenaline popped out from the Range Rovers in one quick, swift movement. Rachel stopped dead in her tracks as she felt something hit her on the back, and then her shoulders, and realized what it was: eggs. What they hell were they doing? She felt shells and yoke in her hair and she covered her face in her hands, tears coming to her burning eyes. She looked up when they were done, more upset than anything else. Geselle seemed to notice, because she she said mockingly, "I hear you are a vegan, Berry! And all the tiny little egg fetuses are all on your conscience now!"

The Vocal Adrenaline kids howled with laughter.

Giselle then looked to her best friend and said, "Do it, Jesse! Are you with us or not?"

Jesse stepped over to Rachel with an egg in his hand, not seeming to want to do it. But he gave in.

"Do it," Rachel said in a shaking voice. "Break it like you broke my heart."

"I loved you." And with that, Jesse cracked the egg right on to Rachel's forehead. As Rachel felt the yokes slithering down her nose, she felt tears in her eyes. She closed them tightly, and heard the Range Rovers drive off, leaving Rachel completely stranded.

* * *

Kurt and Mercedes walked to the choir room together, only to hear the sounds of someone sobbing. Kurt felt a sick feeling form in the pit of his stomach when he heard the sound of Rachel's cries. He and Mercedes both cautiously walked in, only to find Rachel sitting in the corner, curled into a ball very tightly. What was she covered in? Eggs? Kurt and Mercedes practically ran over to her. Rachel was coated in broken egg shells and yokes, and her cries just broke Mercedes's heart. Who would do that to her friend? The two bent down, grabbed Rachel by the shoulders and dragged her into the nearest bathroom. Rachel leaned onto a sink for support, crying harder than ever. Mercedes went over to her and touched her shoulder.

"Rachel, hon, you okay?" she asked her friend in concern. Kurt went to Rachel's other side, setting his hand down onto the shoulder with the least amount of yoke on it.

Rachel shook her head.

"Who did this?" Kurt pushed gently.

"V-v-vocal Ad-d-drenaline," Rachel stuttered out, more than Tina did when she first faked her speech impediment before she dated Artie. "Jesse."

"Rachel, why didn't you just take our advice and get over him?" Mercedes demanded.

"I don't wanna get over him!" Rachel screamed. "Why should I? I loved him and I still love him! That's the awful part of it! Everything I do I screw up! I'm serious! I mean, when can I find somebody who cares about me and accepts me? Mercedes, you and Puck dated, Kurt you came out to Mercedes and your dad and you had it okay, Quinn's pregnant with Puckerman's baby girl, Tina has Artie, and even Brittany and Santana hook up!" Rachel's voice softened and shook as tears continued to fall. Kurt felt exactly the same way. Why couldn't he find a boyfriend anytime soon? "I just want somebody to love me," Rachel whispered. She sat against a wall and curled into herself. Both Mercedes and Kurt sat next to her. Mercedes hooked an arm tightly around Rachel's shoulders as she shook with sobs. Kurt leaned his head onto her shoulder, stroking her hair.

"Shh," Kurt shushed her. "You'll find somebody." He brushed Rachel's hair to get egg shell out.

"I think I know a way to make this better," Mercedes said softly. She pulled out her iPod and put a bud into her ear and began singing:

_Hey Jude, don't make it bad_  
_Take a sad song and make it better_  
_Remember to let her into your heart_  
_Then you can start to make it better_

_Hey Jude, don't be afraid_  
_You were made to go out and get her_  
_The minute you let her under your skin_  
_Then you begin to make it better_

Kurt then began singing softly, his high voice filling the room.

_And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain_  
_Don't carry the world upon your shoulders_  
_For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool_  
_By making his world a little colder_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah_

_Hey Jude, don't let me down_  
_You have found her, now go and get her_  
_Remember to let her into your heart_  
_Then you can start to make it better_

_So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin_  
_You're waiting for someone to perform with_  
_And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do_  
_The movement you need is on your shoulder_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah yeah_

_Hey Jude, don't make it bad_  
_Take a sad song and make it better_  
_Remember to let her under your skin_  
_Then you'll begin to make it_  
_Better better better better better better, oh_

_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_  
_Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude_

Rachel leaned her head on Mercedes's shoulder, crying softly as Kurt stroked her hair soothingly.

"Thank you," she whimpered out as Kurt got up, wetting a towl and brushing over Rachel's forehead, trying to clean the yoke off. "Why are you being so nice to me? The last time I checked you guys hated me."

"Rachel, please, you can be a pain in the ass sometimes, trust me, but we don't hate you, okay? We would never wish this on you. We saw how upset you were after Jesse dumped you on your ass, alright? Sure, we don't always get along, but we would never hate you," Mercedes assured her.

"Yeah and I guess I should have listened to you guys when you told me Jesse didn't love me and was using me. I feel so stupid!" Rachel said tearfully.

"Don't say that," Kurt told her. He hugged Rachel tightly, not seeming to care about his clothes.

"And, also, I believe Kurt and I owe you a makeover," Mercedes said.

"Yeah, you can use one," Kurt said softly.

"Just whatever you do don't force me into that ridiculous Grease catsuit again Kurt," Rachel mumbled.

"C'mon you already got humiliated enough today, alright? The last thing we want is to further embarrass you," Kurt said grinning.

Rachel giggled, smiling a little bit for the first time in days.


End file.
